They found bits of cancer everywhere. Apparently 2 years ago when he went in for the first time to look for cancer they found a spot but upon testing it came back as an infection - not cancer. The doctor told my dad, "I knew it was cancer, it just tested negative". That really irritates me because 2 years ago he could have been easily treated and probably stood a much better chance! Now, he's got masses in both lungs, one is doubling at an incredible rate. It's still in his spine, under his collar bone, they also found spots on other organs - like his kidneys (and he's showing symptoms from that already!). He had started to improve but my sister said everyday she can see the cancer symptoms showing more and more. He's tired all the time, so tired he can't even get up at night to pee. He sleeps alot and can't go more than an hour before he has to lay down. It's really taking a tole on him and my sister, she's having a hard time - emotionally and physically. He's very stubborn and doesn't want to give into help so she's scared to death he's gonna fall or get hurt because he still wants to do everything himself. And it just breaks her heart to watch him decline - she said he just sits and trembles now. They had to put him on female hormones to get him to eat. In the 2 weeks he's been home all he's had was a few sips of ensure everyday. He's just not hungry. Now he's eating like a champ, so I think that will at least help him build up some weight/strength. The doctor set him up with hospice, as much as he hates the idea he is greatful that he won't have to go to a doctor anymore - they'll come to him. It's just all so damn depressing. I can't imagine how he feels - he went into that surgery thinking that the issues were from his back being broke, not from cancer. He went in expecting to come out and be free of back pain (which he is) and in a few weeks being able to get back to his fishing and hunting. Not to come out with a death sentence. It's just wrong.
My sister is trying to get him to decide what to do with his stuff - I imagine he hates talking about this as much as I do. He told her he just wants everyone to claim whatever they want. She's taking the dog (I am soo greatful for that, he needs a good home and will have one with her). My brother is taking his old truck - it's something he's always wanted fixed up and my brother will be the one with the money/time/interest in doing it. My other brother wants EVERYTHING. He thinks he should get all the cars, the atv's, the boats, the camper... everything. He's a drug addict and just wants crap he can pawn. I told my sister that the only things I'd like to have are his camper - it's the same camper he had when I was little, a lot of good memories in it. And some of his taxidermy stuff - that's was his hobby. He's got soo much stuff I don't even know what we'll do with it all. I figure since I am the only child of his who is into camping/hunting/fishing I'll probably take most of that stuff just because it's something we shared an interest in. It just feels so wrong to me to think about this stuff when he's not even gone yet.
So onto the sucky parts of everything... other than the cancer. His crazy g/f thinks that everything should be hers! He bought her a $100,000 house that is NOT paid off and there is no insurance to cover it. Sooo... my brother is in charge of his estate and told her that she's going to have to put it in her name or he's going to have to get rid of it. None of us can afford to carry her - she hasn't paid on that house, ever. My dad paid for it. Insane. I don't know why he did that, it's just soo not like my dad to do! Anyway, she's causing hell. She HATES my siblings and I and is being a royal thorn in the ass about everything. She thinks everyone should just go home and let her take care of him. Huh! Wouldn't she just love for us to leave so she could get her money hungry kids over to sucky him dry before he dies! As my sister said, my extra extra Christian sister who would never call anyone a name... she's a BITCH!
My sister really wants me to come out and I want and need to go, soon. I've been trying to put it off till after June 9th - Joe's last day of school but I don't know if we'll be able to wait that long. He just seems to be going downhill so fast now. Hunter's birthday is on the 29th and I'd also like to be here for that, for DH. It makes him sad that we might not be here for it, but he understands and is fine with it if we can't. He did say I might get a weekend visitor if that's the case lol. My husband suggested that I plan on staying until he passes and unless he has some miraculous turn around and it looks like he'll be ok for months I probably will. I think I keep hoping for something like that, but I don't think it's going to happen. My mom already has our beds set up there and I'm trying to think of things to do with the kids as dad won't be able to handle all of them all day so we'll probably only visit a few hours a day then when my mom is offwork I'll go down and "relieve" my sister for a while. The great thing about being in AZ for summer -- warm lake water!! We'll be swimming! =D Water in ID and here is farrrr too cold for swimming but man on a 110 degree day in AZ the water is sooo nice! Sometimes too nice lol!
So if you're still reading, I'm done now lol!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Fondant 101 lol
So I started using fondant over a year ago my first two experiences with it were NOT fun and I swore I'd never use it again. Until I learned how to make MMF (marshmallow fondant). Oh my gosh, sooooooo much easier and sooooo much cheaper! So now I use it all the time! But there are other types of fondant - they are much more difficult to make and require expensive ingredients that are also hard to find. Or, you can always just buy it, but it's about $15 a batch.
Anyway, I use MMF for all my cakes now. It doesn't take a professional to use it, it's very easy!
First you need supplies: 1 bag of marshmallows and 1 (2lb) bag of powdered sugar will make you 1 batch of fondant. (you'll have left over sugar, you can use it for rolling and save the rest). A tub of shortening (like crisco, any brand), and your frosting - the picture shows what I use which is whip cream with raspberry preserves, it's just something we like, buttercream or any flavor/type of icing works just fine (even store bought!). (I was making 3 batches, so I had 3 bags of each) And of course - your cake. Your cake needs to be cool or room temp so I suggest making it the night before.
To make the actual fondant you'll only need the marshmallow, sugar and water.
Here we go....
The very first thing you need to do is sift your sugar, if you don't you will get hard clumps of it in your fondant which doesn't look real pretty. So sift it at least once (twice is better if you're using what I have there - if you use a sifter like this once is enough - I forgot I had one of those lol) and be sure to get all the hard bits out. Set it aside in a bowl with a scooper that is about 1 cup.
Put the entire bag of marshmallows in a pot with 2 tablespoons of water and melt them - stirring CONSTANTLY!! It's very very important that you do not burn the marshmallow so keep your heat low and do not stop stirring!
When it gets to where most of the marshmallows are melted but there are still chunks take it off the heat and continue to stir until the rest are melted (there will be plenty enough heat to melt the rest).
If you want to color the entire batch, now is my favorite time to add it because it won't color your hands this way! So add a few drops of food coloring into your fodant. Remember, you can add more color but taking it away is hard. This was mothers day so I used red to create pink.
And stir...
Next scoop in 4 cups of your sifted sugar. Let it sit a minute - the marshmallow is hot, you don't want to burn your fingers by digging in!
Now the greasy part lol, take a handful of shortening and rub it all over your counter - or where ever you will be making your fondant. Then sprinkle a bit of sugar over that. NOW grab another little handful and rub it all over your hands, inbetween your fingers and even up your wrists some - trust me on this! It will help avoid getting 'club' hands lol.
Now obviously I didn't get any photos of the "dumping and greasing" part since my hands were covered in goo lol. All you're going to do is (carefully) with your greasy hands dump the pot of marshmallow/sugar onto that spot you just made and start mixing it together with your hands - folding it around the sugar, sort of.. kneeding it. Withing 4-5 minutes you'll start to get a thick dough like texture with it. Add in sugar as you see necessary. Just continue to do that until it gets to where you can poke it and it's not sticky. It never takes me more than 10 minutes to get to this point. It will look something like this:
Now he's a good example of what happens if you DON'T sift your sugar (yeah, I forgot OK?).
See the white chunks? That's gonna be a pain in the rear later!! However, even with sifting you may still get some of these... just pull them out as you work with it.
Wrap in plastic wrap and let it sit in the fridge - overnight is better but at least a few hours!
When you get it out of the fridge, it's going to feel like a rock. You can sit it at room temperature for a few hours and let it warm up. OR, you can toss it in the microwave (marshmallows are awesome in this way!) for a few seconds till it's softer. As you are decorating it you may find your smaller pieces that sit out get harder so you can just toss them and warm them up to make them soft again as needed. Just a few seconds!! Anymore than that and it will melt and you'll have to add more sugar!
Get your tools...
And decorate!!
My finished project:
___________________________________
Anyway, I use MMF for all my cakes now. It doesn't take a professional to use it, it's very easy!
First you need supplies: 1 bag of marshmallows and 1 (2lb) bag of powdered sugar will make you 1 batch of fondant. (you'll have left over sugar, you can use it for rolling and save the rest). A tub of shortening (like crisco, any brand), and your frosting - the picture shows what I use which is whip cream with raspberry preserves, it's just something we like, buttercream or any flavor/type of icing works just fine (even store bought!). (I was making 3 batches, so I had 3 bags of each) And of course - your cake. Your cake needs to be cool or room temp so I suggest making it the night before.
To make the actual fondant you'll only need the marshmallow, sugar and water.
Here we go....
The very first thing you need to do is sift your sugar, if you don't you will get hard clumps of it in your fondant which doesn't look real pretty. So sift it at least once (twice is better if you're using what I have there - if you use a sifter like this once is enough - I forgot I had one of those lol) and be sure to get all the hard bits out. Set it aside in a bowl with a scooper that is about 1 cup.
Put the entire bag of marshmallows in a pot with 2 tablespoons of water and melt them - stirring CONSTANTLY!! It's very very important that you do not burn the marshmallow so keep your heat low and do not stop stirring!
When it gets to where most of the marshmallows are melted but there are still chunks take it off the heat and continue to stir until the rest are melted (there will be plenty enough heat to melt the rest).
If you want to color the entire batch, now is my favorite time to add it because it won't color your hands this way! So add a few drops of food coloring into your fodant. Remember, you can add more color but taking it away is hard. This was mothers day so I used red to create pink.
And stir...
Next scoop in 4 cups of your sifted sugar. Let it sit a minute - the marshmallow is hot, you don't want to burn your fingers by digging in!
Now the greasy part lol, take a handful of shortening and rub it all over your counter - or where ever you will be making your fondant. Then sprinkle a bit of sugar over that. NOW grab another little handful and rub it all over your hands, inbetween your fingers and even up your wrists some - trust me on this! It will help avoid getting 'club' hands lol.
Now obviously I didn't get any photos of the "dumping and greasing" part since my hands were covered in goo lol. All you're going to do is (carefully) with your greasy hands dump the pot of marshmallow/sugar onto that spot you just made and start mixing it together with your hands - folding it around the sugar, sort of.. kneeding it. Withing 4-5 minutes you'll start to get a thick dough like texture with it. Add in sugar as you see necessary. Just continue to do that until it gets to where you can poke it and it's not sticky. It never takes me more than 10 minutes to get to this point. It will look something like this:
Now he's a good example of what happens if you DON'T sift your sugar (yeah, I forgot OK?).
See the white chunks? That's gonna be a pain in the rear later!! However, even with sifting you may still get some of these... just pull them out as you work with it.
Wrap in plastic wrap and let it sit in the fridge - overnight is better but at least a few hours!
When you get it out of the fridge, it's going to feel like a rock. You can sit it at room temperature for a few hours and let it warm up. OR, you can toss it in the microwave (marshmallows are awesome in this way!) for a few seconds till it's softer. As you are decorating it you may find your smaller pieces that sit out get harder so you can just toss them and warm them up to make them soft again as needed. Just a few seconds!! Anymore than that and it will melt and you'll have to add more sugar!
Get your tools...
And decorate!!
My finished project:
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